Want me to do one of the things on the left?

Things I’ll do for money

  • Perform stand-up comedy (Up to 60 minutes. Rates negotiable based on venue, audience size, and whether or not it sounds like fun)

  • Be your friend

  • Punch-up scripts, speeches, etc.

  • Give you some passionate — albeit fairly uninformed — opinions about the state of Major League Baseball

  • Write ads

  • Coach/Teach Stand-Up Comedy & Review Stand-Up Tapes

  • Host a podcast or radio show

  • MC just about any live event (e.g. bingo, auction, funeral, or even a large family game of Parcheesi)

  • The Macarena